:: m e l i s s a’s insane ramblings ::

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.

5. Put decaf in the coffee makes for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their
        addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”

7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy…”

8. Don’t
   use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to-go”.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends your can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won, I won!”

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “due to economy crisis, we are going to let one of you go.”

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…pass this on. A smile is good therapy!

M e L | s S a

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